Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
then he tried to convert me to islam
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
