Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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