I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
