U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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