she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
