Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
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