what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
