oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
Randomize
