im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
