Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
