How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
