having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I want to be your penis for a week.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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