Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I'm just crazy horny about you
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Randomize
