i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
