wat bout pragnant strippers??
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Randomize
