It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
