Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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