It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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