fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
it's like heaven, but drunker
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Randomize
