and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
