were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
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