At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
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