drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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