his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
