Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
