shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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