i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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