Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
