Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
