Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
My liver just had a heart attack.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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