the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
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