I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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