I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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