Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Randomize
