PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
