is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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