I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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