I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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