I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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