i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
