Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
