My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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