what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Randomize
