U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
