found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think weed is turning my hair brown
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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