i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
