What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
