It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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