Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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