is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
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