I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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