last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
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