The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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