I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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