What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
