Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
