..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
