Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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