"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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