one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
