her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
