I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize