I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Randomize
